thunder thieves

have you ever been bursting with excitement about something? it is such a good feeling, isn't it? someone tells you a bit of news, and you find yourself repeating that news to anyone who will listen, simply because your excitement is spilling over into each conversation you have. whether it's "my sister finally had the baby!" or "i got the job!", some things are too overwhelmingly GOOD to keep to yourself. and that's what friends are for, to listen and say "good for you!" or "wow that's great!" or "i am SO PROUD OF YOU!"

i have noticed far too often that there are some friends who will give you a brief congratulations and then migrate the topic of conversation to their own central universe, and share a bit of their own good fortune. trading stories is one thing, and conversations are absolutely a volley between humans, but what i am trying to explain is something different. to put it bluntly, they're thunder thieves.

it is my true belief that everyone in this world is good deep down and that most of the time, especially with our friends, insults in any fashion are inadvertent. these people are completely unaware they are thunder thieves. in my heart of hearts i think that they are simply so not self aware, they don't understand that this is a form of selfishness. it is truly bizarre to me how not self aware people can be, but i do think that this is where the problem lies.

it is a shame too, because listening is SO important. a brief congratulations sometimes just isn't enough for someone, they need to gush. is listening to someone's gushing always the most fun? not so much. but sometimes it is necessary to just be genuinely happy for someone. don't trump their news with a bit of your own. just sit, and listen. nod, smile, and maybe even give the occasional hand squeeze, arm rub, or hug. throw in a "that's soooo great!" it will make your friend feel so important to have the conversation focused on them and their news for a long period of time, and it will make YOU feel good that you were the person who was there for them.

i try my best to be self aware. it is not always easy, but certainly worth it. with self awareness comes self improvement, and who doesn't like that?

lots of love,

madeline.

the year of the mend.

have i wished you a happy new year yet? happy belated new year! it's still only march, i think that well wishes for a happy and healthy year ahead still hold validity, no?

i'm actually glad to address the new year at this point. three months in, far enough to check up and see if you have been sticking to your resolution and still early enough to get back on that wagon if the answer is no! i can honestly say that i have been lagging quite a bit in that department but that i am more than hopeful, i am certain this year will be better than the last, and here is why:

one thing that i have been doing is maintaining the truth in the title i have given twenty-ten: THE YEAR OF THE MEND. no, i don't mean sewing, (though perhaps maybe a little because i have been meaning to get back to my days of self taught amateur seamstress) in fact i mean mending relationships. i have not burned any bridges in my past, just found them to be a bit rickety, but this year i have vowed to walk across these bridges and meet people half way.

can i tell you, it feels GOOD. no matter what anyone has done to me in the past, there is a huge sense of relief in saying "i forgive you" or even "let's forget about it" because the truth is that if you ever loved them enough to care so much about your relationship, there must be a part of your soul that misses them, right? i'm not saying that everyone needs to go and jump back into relationships with people they have severed ties with. in fact, that would be a terrible idea. people part ways for reasons, always. and there are people who are cancers in each other's lives and no, we should not let those viruses back in. what i do think though, is that if there is a mend possible in a situation, do it now. if there is someone you have been thinking about and would like to clear the air with, do it before life takes hold and time flies by and you feel like it is too late. meet them halfway across the bridge just to say "you know what? you're okay" and then walk back to your side with that huge weight lifted off of your shoulders knowing you are a good person who let go of whatever animosity you had in you.

the year of the mend, pass it on!

off to fulfill more resolutions,

madeline.

the law of reciprocity

i have been noticing recently that the "go green" trend has been winding down. al gore's "an inconvenient truth" was nearly four years ago and the buzz about climate change has not only worn off, but society has gone back to debating whether or not we are in a climate crisis at all. which stance anyone sides with is quite frankly irrelevant, the truth is, whether convenient or not, we still have a planet to care for; not because it is in possible peril, but because respecting our home is the right way to live.

it was only a short time ago recycling t-shirts were flying off the shelves, but now that the green fashion trend is a thing of the immediate past, the meaning of the movement is nearly gone as well. it breaks my heart. recycling is not now, nor has it ever been a fashion statement. it is not something to practice out of fear our planet is going to melt. taking care of Earth in the most basic ways should just be the standard. not because we are living in fear, but because we are living with respect. the love and admiration that was ignited in us all just four years ago is and was a beautiful thing. and it should be sustained, because regardless of whether or not you think al gore was full of bologna, trash on the ground is unsightly, plastic bottles can be used to create new, and your planet does nothing but bring you beauty at no cost to you.

when you sit on the beach with your sweetheart and watch the sunset, take a walk through the park with your pup, or make the trip to finally see the grand canyon with your own two eyes, thank the Earth for allowing you these pleasures. i won't beat a dead horse, you know how to give thanks.

maintain reciprocity with the planet that we call home, because she doesn't know how to stop giving, so it's only fair that we give back, regardless of if it's trendy or not.

love, madeline

the moral of the story

i was speaking with my friend the other day and she told me one of the saddest thing's i'd ever heard.

this girl is beautiful but i have noticed throughout my years of friendship with her that she is rarely seen without make up. the few times i have caught her lounging around au naturale, she looks so gorgeous it makes me wonder why she ever even bothers getting gussied up in the first place! so i finally get around to asking my friend the reason for the unnecessarily (still beautiful!) made up face, and she tells me a story that simply broke my heart.

what my friend said was that years ago she was dating a guy for quite some time and so the two of them went out for an afternoon. she had been toying with the idea of not going through her usual make up routine and thought since she was comfortable with her significant other, this afternoon would serve well for a test run. she met him at a restaurant and he immediately noticed her bare face. appalled, he exclaimed "where is your make up!" to which she replied quite timidly "oh, i don't know, i thought maybe i wouldn't wear any today..." (leaving her response open ended enough for him to encourage her and embrace the risk) to which he replied "babe. there are some girls in this world who have the face for no make up. you're just not one of them. it's ok, did you bring any? maybe you can go put some on now."

as if this isn't self explanatory and sad enough, i must say the saddest part was when she told me she believed it to be true. she said that since he had said it she thought "well, i must not be one of those girls and he was probably doing me a favor by telling me so" and since then she has been careful not to let anyone see her so "exposed," which is, in actuality, the best she can look.

i learned such a great lesson from this conversation: the weight of our words can be carried by the receiver for years to come. i had never thought about this. one sentence that i say could last longer than the few seconds it took to be spoken. this boy who emotionally scarred my friend so deeply, who altered her lifestyle-her everyday morning routine, who stripped her self confidence, is walking around somewhere none the wiser. he may not even remember saying this to her.

that saying "sticks and stones will break my bones but words can never hurt me" is completely false. the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is more like it.

choosing words wisely,

madeline

i pledge allegiance to the blog.

dear very few blog followers,

it is my fault and no one else's that i have made no time for you. creating this blog was something i was so excited about and for some reason i let it fade. to anyone who was enjoying what i was writing or perhaps even (i hope!) gaining something from it, i am back!

this declaration is a scary one, i admit. it is frightening for me to put myself out there and commit to something i have complete control of. isn't that strange how we do that? this blog is mine and no one else's and i thoroughly enjoy writing it and yet i have been so lazy that it frightens me to commit to doing so. shouldn't it be easy to commit to something i enjoy? (see entry: the emperor's new groove)

ugh, yes, i should most certainly take my own advice, we all should! but it is definitely more difficult than dishing it out. and i find myself giving advice a lot. don't get me wrong, i am certainly not putting myself on any 'dear abby' pedestal, it's just an observation i have made. i am always answering questions about relationships and jobs and friends and family and when i go to tell myself how to handle carbon copy situations, let's just say 'easier said than done' is a saying that applies to me sometimes.

and so i vow to take my own advice and do what i love and blog till my heart's content. hope you stick with me.

love,

madeline

keeping our estrogen in check.

being a twenty something year old female in this world, being amongst my same sex peers, i am noticing a conversation trend that i have to say irks me quite a bit. we women can not stop berating ourselves! every thread of communication between us is lined with this theme of self-deprecation. it's got to stop!

i'm not going to lie, i am somewhat guilty of this as well. if asked, i'm sure i could write a long list of physical traits i would love to improve. everyone has improvements to make and the day we choose to finally follow through and make those improvements for OURSELVES and no one else, is a day we should be proud of. i have always preached constant self evaluation and perpetual work to be the best version of yourself you can be. what we ladies have to realize, however, is that in our twenties, this is as good as it will get!

don't let that discourage you. as previously stated, you CAN improve. it may be a challenge to lose that extra tummy fat or tone up that hiney, but you CAN do it! the point i make is, this is your prime! you will one day look back at what you look like today and think "damn. i really wasn't that bad." you will ignore the tummy and the hiney and whatever else you nit pick about now, and realize that you were in fact a beautiful girl. it's time you own that.

there's a saying.."youth is wasted on the young" and it's true. there's another, "hindsight is twenty twenty" ...i think you get what i mean. if you're truly going to buckle down and work out all of those little problem areas you magnify now, by all means, do it. but let's not sit around complaining about it anymore, okay girls? let's embrace our youth and enjoy it while have it. let it not be wasted on us, "the young".

love,

madeline.

the emperor's new groove.

good news! i have recently embarked on a quest to find, and have subsequently ascertained my own GROOVE.

by “groove”, i don’t just mean a person’s quintessential dance move, a la mj and his moonwalk. (though if you could develop something of that caliber, by all means…) this groove refers to the way in which you are meant to live your life; the organization of your true potential. it is learning to master going with the flow and beat of your own heart and sometimes against the grain of your lazy pants instincts to find a good regimen that can keep you happy, healthy, and satisfied.

i have always had a few hobbies. haphazardly practiced and most certainly sporadic hobbies; the fruits of which were usually no more than half finished projects. and it is easy to be lazy. it is easy to put off today what can be done tomorrow and when tomorrow comes, wait yet another day to get “it” done. things of lesser value to you, things that could never express who you truly are (i.e. “the john and kate plus 8″ marathon on tlc, which after 5 or 6 episodes, you can sleuth out who was truly to blame for their divorce and develop the appropriate bitter feelings towards whomever you deem home wrecker) seem to mysteriously rise to the top of your to do list and before you know it, all of your half hobbies become lost and a strong sense of who you are goes with it.

why is it so easy to shirk that which we claim to love and replace it with meaningless activities? it is my belief that sometimes the obligatory nature of life’s responsibilities (work, eat, sleep, socialize to the extent that you choose) can swallow a person whole. we become “the vessel.” go through the motions to have a 20 something year old, semi-lucrative, socially fulfilling lifestyle with no real self reward. enter… THE GROOVE.

the groove will help you get back in touch with all of those things you viscerally enjoy. those things that when executed properly, make you happier than all else. your passions. your loves. your “i used to be really good at…” talents. get them back, make time for them. this is the tasty part of the food for your soul. next, is nourishment.

incorporating the nourishment into my own groove seemed wildly daunting at first, as well it should. you know what you’d like to slowly work into your daily regimen to improve that which you are, but when staring wide eyed at a long list of self improvements one can think “how am i ever going to do all of this.” my solution? break it down. truly settling into your groove should be a somewhat long process, and if you’re doing it all in one day you’re not doing it correctly. slowly integrate that which you’d like to change on a basis of time that does not intimidate you. do not give yourself limits. become the best version of yourself and do it at the rate to ensure it sticks.

just groove. you’ll be glad you did.

love, madeline